Monday, October 19, 2015

HEATHER

So I'm going to try to do this new thing were I talk about my entire week in one post. Of course there will be posts in between but for now this might be easier than doing daily blog posts!

I'm starting them this week, and they'll be posted Sunday Nights around 8.

Now I want to talk about the main reason I'm wiring this post. Two years ago today I lost someone very close to me. She was so kind and caring, I've never met anyone that matched her personality completely. I'd known Heather for several years, just hearing about her in school. She was definitely someone I also looked up to. I was blessed enough to be able to be pretty close with her for around two years. I only had a few classes with her, but I'm so glad that I did. She was hilarious, she always knew how to make me laugh. She knew so many secrets of mine and I knew some of hers. I don't think a lot of people realized that we were close. I can't remember what year it was honestly because high school memories are ALREADY fading...but I had a class with just her and one other girl in it. It was my favorite class because all we did was gossip and talk the entire hour with each other. The year before there was several other people in the class that was friends with her, but the year when it was just us three was the year we got really close.

On Fall break that year I was outside playing with my younger siblings. We were playing in our barn and making some kind of hobo house for Mackenzie. We came in around eight and I remember before we got to my room my mom stopped us and told me and Katie that Heather had been in a car accident.

Honestly, describing that feeling that I felt seconds after she said it...the best way I can describe it is numb. I was just in a state of shock I think. I didn't believe it because she had just started to finally recover from a previous car accident. So for about ten minutes after we got that news, I just sat in my room saying nothing. After a while it hit me that she was gone. I don't know what feeling was worse, the numbness or the realization that someone I loved and cared about as gone.

The few days after that school was hard. Everyone knew Heather, she was one of the kindest people at that school. It didn't matter who you were, she was friends with nearly everyone. She was and still is a major influence in my life.

Junior year was the hardest year I ever dealt with. I missed talking to her, having rants with each other, just talking to her was one of my favorite parts of the day. The class she was in with me that year was the class right after Anatomy and Physiology. Which, was literally the worst class ever. She always asked me if it was okay that day, if the teacher was mean again. She cared.

I miss Heather so much. I didn't go to her funeral. Because I had a terrible, terrible experience at one. The give me anxiety attacks honestly. I don't regret that decision just because of the way I got to remember her. Not in a casket, I got to remember her laughing the past Tuesday...we were talking about silly and just weird. She gave me advice that day between me and Shayne. We talked to the other girl that sat by us about some shoes we all wanted. Thats how I remember Heather. Thats the way I wanted to remember Heather.

Unfortunately, we never took a picture together. I wish we had. Because I would cherish that picture every single day. But I do have some pictures in my mind of us that are just as awesome as a real picture would've been. I'm not going to upload a picture of her here, just because this is a public blog which means anyone can take my pictures. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them or have someone be nasty about something (people these days).

I love you Heather, and I miss you terribly. I bet you are having the time of your life in Heaven.


This song came on the radio this morning, ironic, right? 

-K 

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